What Are You, Anyway?
by Tenshi Nightingale-Strife
Summary: I'm not good w/ summaries  Alfred's got a new neighbor.  Said neighbor isn't exactly... normal.  Alfred x Toris  America x Lithuania  AU  & OOC Liet.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Kk, so I know my last story sucked, but that's because I didn't really put my heart into it. This one, I'm gonna "forget" to do my homework just so I have time to make this worth reading. **

**HERE WE GO!**

* * *

"Hey, Mr. Jones, did you meet the new neighbor yet?" Indigo asked Alfred, leaning slightly over the fence. Indigo was a short Filipino girl whose family lived right next to Alfred. No matter what, the 16-year-old always wore a hippie-style head band that she made herself.

"What new neighbor? And how did you get up there? You're so short." Alfred replied.

"Big brother lost a bet, so now he's my slave like in that one episode of the Brady Bunch. So, now I'm standing on him. Oh! Right, the new neighbor! You see that old creepy house right next to yours, the one that small children try to avoid?"

"Yeah. It's been for sale for nine years. Don't tell me someone actually bought it."

"Yup. It was dark when he came, though. Like, around 10:30 or something. I'm pretty sure he's from Europe. Somewhere around Russia, I think."

"Russia, huh? That explains it."

Indigo giggled a little before saying "Well, I have to go, don't wanna be late for school! See you later, Mr. Jones!"

Alfred had off from work that day, so he spent his time watching TV and playing video games. Typical…

* * *

11:47. That was the time. Alfred fell asleep watching UFO Hunters a few hours ago. He felt chilly, so he went to the kitchen to close the window. Through said window, he saw a small light, like one from a few candles, in a window in the "creepy old house". He looked at it for a while, and then he saw… his new neighbor.

'He's as pretty as a girl…' Alfred thought to himself. He was right. The other man had a soft face, chocolate-coloured locks going down a little past his shoulder. He was wearing a white, button-down shirt. It wasn't one you'd see on a businessman, either. Very fancy and vintage.

Alfred watched him carefully, noticing every last tiny thing he did. He was sewing something, a piece of fabric, Al couldn't tell what it was. His fingers were thin, moving the needle through the fabric quickly and precisely.

This went on for about a half hour, Alfred watching the mysterious man, until finally, the man looked up. From what Alfred could see, he was just sitting there, looking at him malevolently. When Al blinked, the candlelight was gone, and so was his neighbor. He stood there in silence, in fear.

Next thing he heard was a loud knock at the door. Alfred didn't want to open it. He felt a bead of sweat rolling down his brow.

'Oh sh-t,' he thought, 'I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die so hard I'll get killed because of it. That made no sense.' He swallowed, and slowly walked toward the door. When he opened it, guess who was there.

* * *

**A/N- Short, I know, but I promise, next one's gonna be longer. && more Prussian. Get it? Prussian=Awesome. I'm gonna stop being a nerd now.**

**I can't promise you anything, but I'll try to get the next chapter up by Saturday.**

**K THX BAI!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Why were you watching me?" said the man from the creepy old house, in a thick Eastern-European accent.

"Watching you?" Alfred replied, "Tch, no. I was… I was… asleep with my eyes open, duh! And I just so happened to fall asleep with my eyes open facing your window. What a coincidence, huh?"

The other man looked at Alfred like he was an idiot, with one eyebrow raised.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"

"I'm not going to hurt you, you buffoon. I just want to make sure you stay out of my private life."

"Yeah totally no problem."

_'He's even cuter in person!'_ Alfred thought, smiling.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Um… nothing. By the way, my name's Alfred Jones."

"You can call me Toris."

"So. Toris. Wanna, like, come inside? I can make you some tea or something."

"Sure, why not."

Alfred led Toris into his living room, taking his coat and hanging it on a rack. Toris took a seat on the sofa as Al went into the kitchen to brew that fancy, expensive tea that his father sent him from England.

A few minutes later, Alfred came back holding two cups of tea, giving one to Toris.

"So what brings you to Ojai?" Alfred asked.

"I am not really sure. Back in the late 1800's, one of my ancestors came here. Probably wasn't a smart idea for me to come here, considering how he died."

"How _did_ he die?"

"That… Let's talk about something else."

"Okay, like what?"

"Well, I heard Ojai is home to quite a few legends, stories."

"Ah, yes. So many stories. I remember being told several stories when I was in third grade. I always wanted to go investigate. Always wanted to sneak out of the house and meet up with my friends on Creek Road. But, I was always too scared. Now I'm 23, and I'm still scared to go."

"Would you… mind telling me some of the legends?"

"Well, the most popular would be the ones about the burn victim known as Charman, the headless motorcyclist, and the vampire." When Alfred said "vampire", he noticed that his guest seemed to choke a bit on his tea.

"I don't care which one, I have time to spare."

"Okay then, Charman it is! He's possibly the most famous ghost in town, whose skin hangs in cooked strips from his skull and reeks of burning flesh"

"Ew."

"That's what I first said."

They talked about other legends of Ojai. From the drag racers to the nun at the museum, the hauntings at the inn, and finally, the vampire. That last one seemed to make Toris a bit uncomfortable.

"Well then," said Alfred, "I've told you stories about Ojai. Time for you to tell me some stories about… Where are you from?"

"Lithuania. I do not really have any knowledge of ghosts in Lithuania. They say that several churches and Gediminas in Vilnius are haunted."

"Can you tell me anything about that?"

"Hmm… I know the story of Gediminas very well. The cathedral there reminds us a sad love story of Žygimantas Augustas. Once, mourning for his dead wife Barbora, he asked the most famous esoteric practitioners to summon her spirit. The ghost of the woman appeared in the tower in front of the Cathedral. Oh, how he wished to call her for a dance once again, but no living man is allowed to violate the boundary between the world of the living and the realm of the dead. As the legend tells, the spirit of the dead duke still haunts Gediminas Avenue where he used to walk along with his beloved Barbora."

"Woah. Nice. Well, not nice about the dying and stuff, but, you know what I mean."

And so, their conversations went on throughout the night until Toris noticed the sun was to rise in an hour, so he grabbed his coat, said goodbye, and left for his home.

Alfred, who truly hates tea more than anything (except maybe marmite), poured the rest of the tea down the sink.

_'Probably shouldn't have done that,_' he thought, _'now all the sewer monsters are going to die.'_

_

* * *

_**A/N: Told you it was going to be longer.**

**I know I said I was going to upload the second chapter like 5435740534795703 weeks ago, but I've been REALLY busy.**

**This story was inspired by pages 51 and 52 of the book Weird Hauntings: True Tales of Ghostly Places compiled by Joanne Austin. If you have that book, you might probably definitely know what this story is about maybe.**

**I am Tenshi Nightingale. Good Night. Er, morning for me I guess since I'm typing this at 2:51 AM.**


	3. Chapter 3

[A/N] Sweet mother of Vatiel, I am sorry, I am so very sorry. You would not believe how busy I've been since I uploaded the last chapter. I finally got around to writing and uploading Chapter 3, so please enjoy.

* * *

"Hey, Mattie, so listen to this! I have this neighbour, right? And he's really weird."

"Alfred," his brother replied, "You better not be making fun of him."

"I'm not! He's a cool weird. He's like sooo hardcore! He uses candles instead of electric lighting, which is really awesome 'cause he's not wasting energy and I think everyone should follow his example. And he only comes out at night, or so it seems right now, which is also totally cool 'cause that proves that he's brave and isn't afraid of aliens and monsters and ghosts, which MUST mean that he's a hero! And I need some hero friends, because all my other friends are wimps."

"Oh, thanks."

"You don't count as a friend, you're just my brother."

"That does wonders for my self-esteem, Al. Hey, um… I'm not sure if I'm correct, you know because of the different time-zones, but don't you have to go to work soon?"

"Crap." Alfred glanced at his watch and hung up the phone. He tried to get his things gathered up as quickly as humanly possible and jumped in his car. "And I forgot my shoes." So he got his shoes. Then he drove off.

* * *

'That Toris guy…' Alfred thought, ignoring the paperwork on his desk, 'He's cool and all, but… something just seems a bit off. Like he's not completely human… What are you thinking, Al? He's got to be human! You've just been watching The X-Files too much!'

"Oi, Jones!" A certain light-haired beer-enthusiast said rolling his chair next to Alfred's cubicle, "I'm bored."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Gilbert pulled in closer to Al, grabbing him by the shoulder and pointing at the elevator opposite them and whispered, "We're right next to the elevator. In approximately four minutes, the mail guy's gonna get here. When he does, we can be real quick and run in before the doors close and make a clean getaway. Then we could go like bar-hopping or something."

"You do realise that we're not in high school anymore, right? I don't do that anymore."

"What, ditch or get drunk?"

"Ditch. I get drunk all the time, I'm an American!"

"Well, what if—"

"Hello." Ludwig, their boss, interrupted the conversation, putting his hand on Gilbert's shoulder, "Did I change your schedules? I could have sworn that you two should be working right now."

"Umm..." Gilbert started, "N-no, you see, bro, because, there's umm... There's this evil guy who uhh... he like sent a satellite into orbit around the Earth, and programmed it so that if Al and I stop talking for over 5 minutes, It'll send a death ray down like WHOOSH! and destroy us all like BOOM! So yeah."

"Oh, I see. What's this evil guy's name?"

"Umm... Doctor Heinz Doofenschmirtz."

"The cartoon character?"

"The cartoon character was based off a real evil scientist."

"Do you take me for some kind of idiot? I'm not Feliciano."

"Veeeeeeeee!~" said Italian said, popping out from behind Ludwig. "I heard my name."

"Feliciano, get back to work."

"But I'm hungry~"

"I'll get you some pasta later if you just get back to work."

"Yay!" Feli cried, running off.

"Now you two, quit goofing off. Especially you, Gilbert. I'm tired of your crap. I gave you this job because we're family, but don't think that means I won't fire you on the spot."

"Why don't you fire Feli, then? He goofs off all the time!"

"Because he's good in bed." Alfred answered, making Gilbert laugh and Ludwig walk away, red in the face.

"Oh god, dude," Gilbert said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes "What were we talking about?"

"Your ingenious escape plan."

"Oh, right! Now, when the mail guy comes up,"

"You mean that mail guy?" Alfred said, pointing at the man coming out of the elevator.

"Huh?" Gilbert turned around, and his eyes widened. He ran towards the doors, but they closed before he could make it, causing his face to collide with them.

"Fail." Alfred muttered.

"Shut up!" Gilbert replied, on the floor and being helped up by some co-workers.

* * *

Alfred was raking the leaves off his front lawn, which of course he hated he'd much rather be watching some old horror films like The Omen or The Ring.

"Hey, Mr. Jones!" Indigo said, running up to him from her house. "Need any help?"

"No thanks, Indigo, I'm almost done."

"Oh. So how was your day?"

"Hectic. Very hectic. I'd rather not go into it. How about you?"

"Well, for one thing, we got a new science teacher. He's like obsessed with minerals and rocks and jewels and stuff. He asked me where I found the rocks in my head band. So, I told him that I found some buried in my grandma's backyard and some from the banks of a stream I found when visiting Wales all those summers ago. He said that they're unmistakeably amethyst and selenite."

"I'm going to pretend that I know what those are."

"Well, I Googled them and apparently, they have protective properties when it comes to the occult."

"Is that why you're always so lucky?"

"Possibly. Say, have you met the new neighbour yet?"

"As a matter of fact…"

* * *

[A/N] Was that short? It seemed pretty short.

Anyway, you now have some insight onto Alfred's work life. And yeah...

Some blatant foreshadowing in this chapter...

By the way, does anyone reading this watch Doctor Who? A few weeks ago I watched the first episode of the new season, cried for hours after it was over, and swore never-dying hatred of Stephen Moffat. I want Russell T. Davies back and writing for DW, and he's the one who allowed Ianto (Ianto Jack4-evar) to be killed off on Torchwood. I don't want to give out any spoilers, but Holy Roman Empire. && then the second episode not only had a stupid name (Day of the Moon? Really?), but was also even more confusing than the first one. That one scene at the end kind of threw off my plans for a fan-comic featuring James, my sex-crazed character, and the Doctor, even though I expected that scene would come one day. My "wife" Mila's still going to push me to do the comic, though. I'm going to shut up now, because this talk about the greatest programme in all the known and unknown universes (univer_si_?) is going to be longer than the chapter itself. orz


End file.
